WORDS
Communicating While Autistic
Please tell me you relate:
Words Like Math
10 Things I Actually Said
Decoding Small Talk
Between the Lines
WORDS LIKE MATH
Language is a fascinating and puzzling intersection of semantics and context. Semantics is the study of meaning, what words actually say. Context is the invisible layer that shapes how words are understood.
Semantics relies on precision over interpretation or assumption. Context relies on interpretation of tone, body language, and shared unwritten social rules.
Communication: A Shared Math Problem
Communication is a kind of shared math problem. I treat the semantics as the numbers, sacred and exact: 2 + 2 = 4, always. As such, I am perpetually confused when my answer is “off”.
Allistic (non-autistic) communicators assume a hidden variable, the context, and subtly tweak the equation accordingly: 2 + 2 = feels like 5 depending on tone, body language, or social nuance. As such, they too, are perpetually confused by my answer. The math hasn’t changed, but the outcomes are different.
The result is that one sentences can have two or more meanings:
“I saw her duck” (did she crouch, or does she own a birds).
*It turns out, context is the silent asterisk in every sentence.
~ Pearl
10 Things I Actually Said
“You look tired.”
Translation in my brain: ‘You seem like you’ve had a long day; I empathize.’
Translation in their brain: ‘You look like death.’“Wow, you smell like my grandma.”
I meant: ‘Comforting and familiar scent of lavender and cookies!’
They heard: ‘You smell old.’“You’re wrong.”
My tone: factual.
Their reaction: emotional meltdown.
Lesson: apparently, humans prefer “I see it differently” over “incorrect.”When someone says “My dog died”:
Me: “How old was it?”
Them: tears
Me: data collection interrupted.“That’s not your real laugh.”
Why yes, I did accuse someone of fake laughing… mid-laugh.
“It would be so much easier to talk about this if we just removed the emotions and stuck to the facts.”
My brain: Logical suggestion.
Their brain: Emotional combustion.“I didn’t know you were joking. You didn’t make the joke face.”
Me: literal analysis of tone and expression.
Them: rethinking their entire comedic career.“That was a weird noise your face just made.”
Translation: interesting emotional expression.
Interpretation: rude alien commentary.“I don’t follow people, I follow the data.”
The moment my boss realized leadership wasn’t my kink.
Supervisor: “Can you respect the chain of command?”
Me: “Not if it’s inefficient.”
Regrettably,
Pearl ….
Decoding Small Talk: Why Do People Keep Asking About the Weather?
Small talk - humanity’s polite attempt at conversation without meaning. I don’t get it, but I respect the ritual, sort of.
Every social interaction starts with, “Nice day, isn’t it?” and immediately my brain short-circuits. I want to say something authentic, like, “Yes, the sunlight reflecting off that car windshield is blinding and mildly painful, thank you for noticing.”
But apparently, that’s not what people mean.
Small talk is code - a mysterious ritual where “weather” means “I acknowledge your existence but I’m terrified of silence.”
Meanwhile, I’m taking it literally.
They say, “Bit windy today!” and I respond, “Actually, the gusts are around 12 mph according to the forecast.
Then they stare at me like I just recited barometric pressure data at a poetry slam.
But even when I get the words right, the tone feels off. My brain wants every exchange to have purpose (or not happen at all).
Still, I try. I’ve learned that “Nice day!” isn’t about the weather. It’s about connection. A handshake of words that says, “I see you.”
Though honestly, if you do want to talk about the weather - I have charts….
Sincerely,
Pearl Jenkins
BETWEEN THE LINES
Words fall softly, neatly dressed; polite, precise, a buttoned vest.
But the unsaid lies where the whispers cling; hints of truths you never bring.
You speak in italics, soft and implied; I prefer sentences neatly supplied.
My brain is binary, crisp, and clean. Your speech is gradient, “sort of in-between”.
The gaps, redactions, coded thought; veiled, but apparently says a lot. .
Please speak your mind, don’t make me guess; skip the subtext and tangled mess.
Just say what you actually want to convey; and I promise to always mean what I say.
~ P. Jenkins
Contact us
What makes you crooked? Is it a texture, place, situation? We can’t wait to hear from you!
This work is protected by copyright magic — please don’t copy or redistribute without permission. Thank you!
Put another way:
© 2025 Feral Minds. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution is prohibited.